Hey guys! It’s been a while since my last post and I promised vegan taste tests and reviews, I haven’t forgotten and I still intend to do this I swear! The thing is when I promised that I was forgetting (okay, okay purposely not thinking about) the fact that although April brings us sunshine, for us students it also brings about a very stressful thing- deadlines.
I’d love to say I’m the most organised student in the world but I’m not. I’m a procrastinator in every form. I never miss a deadline, I just seem to get some sort of sick kick out of the adrenaline from only just making a deadline. I know I’m not the only one, us procrastinators are a varied form. We give organised people cold sweats who seem to have nightmares about our carefree attitudes. They just don’t understand how we operate so I thought I’d explain:
Stage 1: Symptoms of stress become evident in your organised classmates
It’s 2 weeks before and your classmates start stressing out. They’re probably talking about how they’re half way through and not sure if they’ve covered most of the things in the marking criteria and ask you how you’re finding yours. This is where you state casually that you haven’t even started researching yet que their jaws dropping to the floor and beads of sweat and you’re just like
Stage 2: It’s a week before and you have some free time.
You psych yourself up, turn on your computer and you’re non student friend texts you telling you everyone from your workplace is in the pub ‘but I have a deadline!’ You say and they promise you a Willy Wonka filled world of fun- just without the sweets and more booze. You go of course because smh a week is looooooaaads of time!
Stage 3: 5 days before and the panic slowly kicks in
So you tell yourself I’ll just play an hour of Fallout and all will be fine, I’ll be cool and calm and collected and everything will be fine. Then it’s midnight and your partner asks if you have any work to do and you snap at him that of course you do all five of your settlements don’t have enough food and beds, they keep getting raided, some ghoul is pleading with you to return her overdue book to a library that burnt down hundreds of years ago, the synth that’s following you won’t shut up about some guy called Eddie Winters and you just feel like there’s not enough time to save them all!!! Then they look at you all weird and ask about your real life and you’re just like
Stage 4: 3 nights before and you have this feeling you should be doing something but you just want to party
Your partner is busy doing work to meet their deadline, your non student friends are all working the late shift so you ask your class if anyone wants to get a drink or grab food and they’re all horrified like ‘we have a deadline in 3 days! I really can’t!’ And you get annoyed and just stare at them all like
Stage 5: 2 days before and you ‘start’ to do work
You print off some journals, highlight some quotes and yeah this is going good, you’re on a roll! Except your brain hurts off reading all the journals so you think I KNOW! I’ll watch a documentary relating to this subject because it’s completely fine to reference a documentary. I’ll just check out the documentary tab on Netflix and oh god what have I done I’ve started watching Pretty Little Liars from the beginning again
Stage 6: You’re going to do an all nighter this is totally fine
That’s the plan but instead you end up sporadically dancing to songs, pacing the kitchen expecting new food to be in the cupboards and lying to your classmates in the group chat ‘yeah I’m on 1,973 words’ because, you know, an uneven number makes it totally more legit. Their words of encouragement make you feel slightly guilty but they give you encouragement, so much encouragement in fact that you believe you actually have wrote as many words as you lied about and just go to sleep cause you know, you have a whole 14 hours and 59 minutes to meet the midnight deadline tomorrow.
Stage 7: Deadline Day
The fear is real and you’re contemplating your life and wondering how it ever became this. Another coffee will fix this you say until you start bashing away at your keyboard, laughing like a maniac and not knowing if you’re having a stroke of pure genius or pure stupidity. Time is flying by and you wonder how this is possible, you eat, randomly leave your PC to stand in the middle of the room and hope if you close your eyes this will all go away. It’s 11pm and you’re almost there, you start sweating and hysterically start asking your partner for help even though they don’t study your course and you blame them for letting you get away with this procrastination for the last two weeks.
BUT YOU DO IT! You submit it 3 minutes before the deadline and start twerking in happiness. You tell yourself you will never do this again but you’re a procrastinator, the best procrastinator there is. You have a legacy to live up to so why change now?
P.S I promise this post wasn’t a form of procrastination, I did some work right?